our family of 4

we are finally a family of 4! i'm a horrible blogger, i know. sorry to those who actually come on here looking for updates only to find nothing. but, here is an update for you! :)

judah cole was born on march 26, 2009 at 8:08 am. he weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 3oz and was 22 inches long! his apgar scores were 9/9 and we immediately fell in love. i think every parent wonders how they will ever love a new child coming into their home as much as they love the one/s they already have and although it can't be explained, it just happens. everyone had told us about this overwhelming love but until you experience it for yourself you don't really understand how it works. we were so worried about loving judah like we love sam but can now attest to God's amazing glory and His capacity to allow us to love in ways we never imagined.

after a great delivery and FINALLY getting to actually experience the birth of a baby together our world quickly turned upside down. i'm not going to get into all the details but am going to give the gist of what happened.

judah's lungs were not quite developed (although he was 39wks 1day) and he wasn't breathing on his own. so after having this big boy and these amazing apgars our little guy was sent to the nicu. he was never once rolled into my hospital room and we didn't get to hold him until he was 2 days old. i cannot even begin to make you understand just how hard it is to go through something like that. only those who have had little ones in the nicu understand the feeling of absolute helplessness that comes with seeing your baby surrounded by tubes, wires, and monitors. judah was placed on a cpap at 40% oxygen. he finally graduated to a nasal cannula after 2.5 days in the nicu. i was discharged on a monday (after being admitted on thursday) and judah had to stay until wednesday. it is so hard to come home without your baby. when we got home monday i went and hid in my closet and cried. the only people that i wanted around me were matt and sam. and to be honest, a 15 month old boy just won't let you love on him very much unless he's about to go to sleep!

judah has now been home for a week. we've had 2 rough nights (which weren't really that bad.....we were just both sleep deprived from travelling back and forth between the house and the nicu) with him but i think he's finally getting the hang of being out in the real world. the past few nights he has been an excellent baby. we keep waiting for the drama to start. everyone told us that because sam was so good that our next would be a little devil but so far they seem to be wrong. i can only hope that it lasts. i tell judah that he owes us anyway after putting us through all the nicu time.

sam was a little thrown off at first by this new bundle of joy but has really done well. we didn't think he would be quite as aware as he is of his new brother but we were mistaken. he has held him although that didn't last for long. haha! sam is a real busy body since he hit a year old and rarely stops long enough to even look around. oh, and he is ALL BOY! it's crazy just how rough these boys are from such a young age. i can just see the broken bones and black eyes now.

matt and i are so grateful to God for what He did in our lives over the past couple of weeks. we can't wait to watch these 2 boys grow up together and be best friends. thank you all for the prayers!